18
Sep
10

The American Machete Takers Going The Distance.

Monday September 6th, 2010, Memorial Day

The American Machete Takers Going The Distance.

Machete (2010) starring Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, and Lindsay Lohan. Machete is betrayed by the organization that hired him, so he launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss. This move gave me everything I wanted in a guy flick. It covered the “Three B’s”: Blood, boobs and bombs! At 66 years old its nice to see that lead star Danny Trejo can still kick butt on the big screen. He was recently seen in Predators (2010). It’s a nice trend of late to see older action stars like Sylvester Stallone (64 years old) in the The Expendables (2010) and Rambo (2008) and Harrison Ford (68 years old) in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) and the upcoming Cowboys & Aliens (2011). Oh, and don’t forget that Chuck Norris is 70 years old this year. I have always been a fan of bad boy Danny Trejo when I first saw him Desperado (1995) which was directed by Robert Rodriguez who also co-directed Machete (2010). It was nice to see that Robert Rodriguez could assemble a great cast in this parody type action flick. My favorite character in this flick was played by Jeff Fahey. I’ve always liked him as an actor. Lately he’s mostly doing episodic TV and b-movies. Its nice to see him in a plum role like this one. Machete (2010) is a fun campy action flick with a lot of gratuitous violence and funny one-liners. Check it out if this type of thing entertains you like it does me.

Going the Distance (2010) starring Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Christina Applegate, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis. This romantic comedy is centered on a guy and a girl who try to keep their love alive as they shuttle back and forth between New York and San Francisco to see one another. I enjoyed this movie on three counts. I enjoyed the on screen chemistry between Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. I’m sure they’re off screen relationship helped with this too. The movie was rate R for language, which meant the dialogue was richer and truer to real life. And the supporting cast really had a chance to shine too and provided a lot of extra laughs. However it was Drew Barrymore that really was the best part of this film. She’s a woman now and her role in this movie reflects that. She’s not that teenager that I once smile flirted with back in the early 89/90 at “The Hamburger That Ate LA” burger joint on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles; CA. It’s unfortunately an L.A, landmark that is no more.

A Starbucks is now in its place, go figure. For a neat history lesson go here: http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/11/burger-building-the-burger-that-ate-la.html. And yes, I did smile flirt with Drew Barrymore. I was too nice and chicken shit to do anything else. Ah well, it’s a good story to tell, another time.

Takers (2010) starring Paul Walker, Hayden Christensen, Chris Brown, Matt Dillon, Michael Ealy, Idris Elba, T.I., Jay Hernandez and Zoe Saldana. Tight knit teams of bank robbers successfully completes their latest heist and lead a life of luxury while planning their next job. A former member of their team is released from prison and convinces the group to strike an armored car carrying $20 million. This all-star cast was entertaining to see on the big screen. However the acting chops were hit and miss. My favorite on-screen characters were portrayed by Idris Elba, Hayden Christensen who were part of the bank robber team and the cop chasing them played by Matt Dillon. The real life musicians T.I. and Chris Brown were hit and miss with me too. T.I. was a miss, I would have rather seen another musician turned actor play the role than him. It just seemed he was playing himself. Chris Brown was a hit for me and more believable as his role as the youngest member of the robber team. There were some cool action scenes in this flick. However by the end of the movie I felt there was something missing. It didn’t end the way I wanted too. The movie fell short of my expectations, especially with the cool cast that was brought together for this film.

The American (2010) starring George Clooney, Irina Björklund and Thekla Reuten. George Clooney plays an assassin on the run. He has to flee Sweden when a job ends more harshly than expected for this American abroad. He heads to a small town in Italy for one last job and the hope of retirement… I guess. I’ll explain. This movie starts off great. It startles you and grabs you, and you can’t wait to see what happens next. But when the American leaves Sweden (about 5-10 minutes in), the movie starts it down hill slide. It felt like everyone in the theater was forced to opened up that proverbial “can of suck” and sip it slowly over the next hour and a half or so. Here’s the weird thing, you don’t get that feeling until after the movie is done. There was hope for the film for me halfway through it. The small town and countryside was beautiful. But there was plot holes developing and the end of the film wasn’t answering all the questions the movie was presenting. It left me very unsatisfied, especially after how the movie started. I so wanted to like this film, and so did the rest of the movie theatergoers that were seated with me and experiencing the same disappointment I did. I know everyone else thought this movie disappointed too when after the credits started to roll one theater patron yelled out “You gotta be kidding me” and everyone else including myself laugh to his comment in frustration. This movie needs a re-do, and it pissed me off that I couldn’t like this film. The ingredients where there and the chef fucked it up.

Up next: Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010). Stay tuned my movie peeps!

– Spartan Phoenix

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1 Response to “The American Machete Takers Going The Distance.”


  1. October 15, 2010 at 7:36 am

    Sweet web site, I hadn’t noticed spartanphoenix.wordpress.com previously during my searches!
    Continue the great work!


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